What will happen if I have to birth alone?

Jay KellyBlog

One of the most common birthing concerns right now is: What will happen if I have to birth alone?

Hopefully, all women will be able to have their partner with them during their birth, but if it is a worry of yours, then my suggestion is to work out a Plan B, for just in case.

Let’s plan for worst case scenario, and then park that plan and hopefully you wouldn’t need to use it.

First of all, I want to remind you that you have everything that you need within you. You already have, and you always will do. 

BIRTH PLANS:

Make sure you have done your birth plan, so you know exactly what your choices and preferences are.

If you have already done this, then it would be really helpful to do a SECOND BIRTH PLAN – ‘In The Event of No Birth Partner’ plan.

Really get into specifics here.

You could list a few pointers for the midwife, so for example: ‘in the event of me needing some help to feel calm, I would really appreciate it if you could remind me of this particular breathing technique’

START NOW CREATING YOUR BIRTH BUBBLE:

Think about how a birthing cat will take herself off to a warm, safe, dark and cosy space where she won’t be disturbed.

You can start preparing for that space.

Start by gathering comfort items, and using them to anchor a sense of calmness.

  • Find a favourite soft blanket that acts like a hug, maybe even smells of your partner! You could wrap that blanket around you whenever you need it.
  • A favourite birthing essential oil. Use it as you approach the time whilst having massages and relaxing times at home, so the scent acts as an anchor for relaxation.
  • Gather photos of things that make you smile, and postcards of words as reminders. Reminders to loosen your jaw, breathing techniques, positive words that prompt you.
  • Music – think out of the box and gather hours & hours of music, but not just calming piano music! Get some upbeat party music to get you moving and feeling good!
  • Hypnobirthing? If so, get practicing listening to your mp3s and have them with you on the day. The familiarity can really help. Take yourself to that zone, that calm and peaceful place, and be there with trust and faith that all will be well.

PRACTICE ASKING FOR YOUR WANTS & NEEDS: Start now!

Do you want the lights turning down? Do you need your water refilling? Do you want some extra comfort right now?

We know the midwives are going to be extra stretched during these times, but equally they are there to support you and would probably appreciate it if everyone could ask for their needs when needed, as you see, as amazing as they are, they cannot read minds.

CAN YOU HAVE YOUR PARTNER THERE DIGITALLY?

Check in with the labour ward. Do they have WiFi access that you can use to get. Your partner on video call. If so, get something that means the phone can be hands free. A tiny tripod or stand.

YOU WERE MADE FOR THIS JOB:

Back to basics here. No technique, no person, no tools are needed, as everything is already within you. Your body has known exactly how to grow your baby, and it also knows exactly how to birth your baby too.

Plan for Plan B, prep and park it… Then give your focus back to Plan A, knowing that Plan B is sorted if it came to it.